I was playing in the beginning, the mood all changed

I suck at this blogging shit.

I really do. I know.

I used to have a camera on my phone which allowed me to post all kinds of nonsense at any time.

Now I have a Crackberry, sans camera, and I see a million things a day I would like to post to my bloggidy blog.

So there are no spontaneous pics, I don't watch tv, I have a pile of Sunday New York Times (months worth) still to "go through", and I am trying to get back into work. Sounds crazy, but I kind of miss it.

So when it comes down to it, I don't have much to say. My mind is mushy with kid stuff and that is just boring unless you are living it. I guess I don't know what to bloggity about, which means I probably shouldn't have a blog.

If you have any ideas let me know. I will try harder.

No I Won't Back Down

Here's the op-ed column that swayed me.

New York Times: Obama in Orbit

No other candidate we've been presented with can truly talk about, or enforce, any kind of change. The rest are too old school, too washed up. I like that Obama will look at issues and situations with a fresh set of eyes. I like that the rest of the world will look at us with a fresh set of eyes.

Because seriously, we need to move on, people. The Bushes and The Clintons have had at it long enough. John McCain? Seriously? We're in deep doo-doo with that guy at the helm. The world is sick of all their bullshit. We don't need a two-for-one Clinton Presidency. We don't need war hero John McCain. We need someone who is different. Who will try to be different.

Yea, different. Whatever. All I'm saying is I support Barack Obama for President.

Have a ball y'all, throw your hands up

If I were a stay-at-home mom, I'd be an alcoholic. No doubt about it. I can think of nothing else to do all day long.

Current drink: Pear Vodka and Club Soda, on the rocks. Refreshing. And nutritious. I think the Pear aspect of this drink counts as one serving of fruit for today. And we may work our way up to two or three servings of fruit by the end of the night.

My boobs hurt. How long do I have to breastfeed before I will not feel guilty for quiting? Guilty for what, you ask? I have no clue. With all the alcohol, the formula is no doubt more nutritious than the boob milk. It's a funny paradox. That may not be the correct usage of paradox, but it sounded good there. So we're going with it.

Anywhosi, I think I saw an episode on Oprah once about mommies who drink, sometimes before 5:00, and sometimes in the presence of other mommies and other kids. I remember the audience being all shaky shaky of the head and judgmental, and the mommy who drinks who came to the show (why?) sat on the stage and was ridiculed. I remember I thought to myself that I would drink too if I had to sit at home all day long with little kids. And here I am, the very topic of an Oprah conversation. Kind of makes me feel special. I wish Oprah would host that topic of conversation again. I'll bring my mommy friends who are also drinking amongst their children. Oh, the shame.

This blog makes me laugh out loud. Check it out. I Am Bossy.

Update: I think I could do a double banger on the Oprah show.

Oprah, in all her wisdom, is searching for a Shlumpadinka. Heard of it? Know the word?

According to Oprah, a Shlumpadinka is someone whose "day to day wardrobe consists of oversized sweats, gym shoes and a pony tail".

Fascinating show topic, right?

Interestingly, that description actually describes most of my mommy/drinking friends.

Oprah asks, "When you meet for a playdate or a drink with your neighbors – do you look like a shlumpadinka?"

Ummm, yes. At least I'm comfortable whilst sipping my drinks. Stop being so fucking judgmental, Oprah. Get yourself some sweatpants and pour yourself a drink. I promise, you'll feel better.

Let the tears splash all over you

I'm trying to figure out what to say.

You know, something funny. Something profound. Something interesting, eye opening, or, something.

Is there anything in particular you want to know? I am willing to tell you.

Things got a little stressful when #2 was on "the light blanket" (that is what the medical types call it; a "blanket", which it is not, at all), and he was not getting better. The doctor started talking about testing for some rare "conditions", otherwise known as diseases. We started researching the internets.

At this point were visiting the doctor every day. We actually visited the doctor more often with #2 during his first week of life, than we did with #1 during his first two years of life. Now, the doctor remembers us and remembers our story. Oh yes, the parents with the anomoly kid. The kid who is not getting better. And is not gaining weight. Not good. So come back and visit us again tomorrow, ok?

At one point, Mr. Grass looked at the doctor and said something like, "yea, we've been researching this on the internet and we haven't found anything either."

The doctor looked at me and cracked a tiny little smile. As if to say, "I spent over half my life preparing for this moment - this moment of being a good pediatrician with years of experience and tons of documentation to prove it. Good to know you didn't find REASON your SON is NOT GETTING BETTER on the INTERNET!"

He didn't actually say that. Nor did he think it. But I did. The doctor? He just gave me a little smile.

So #2 is fine now. We got a new light "blanket" and he made a miraculous turn in less than 24 hours. WOO HOO!

#1 is also doing much better. And the rest of us? We are surviving on wine. And vodka. But let's focus on the wine. After all, this is the Wine Shrine. What are you drinking?