Wednesday, May 27, 2009

7 Year Itch Approaching (not mine)

Oh where to begin. We've confirmed that her husband is totally unaware that anyone else knows about "this". Whatever this is, exactly. We've confirmed that he has no idea I know, that our other friend knows, and of course that BOTH our husbands also know. And all four of us are disgusted.

We've also confirmed he has no idea that she could spring The Big D on him at any moment. Divorce, that is. And while he frequently throws that word around like it's a trivial matter, she has never explained to him what she told us: That she is no longer in love with him. In other words, divorce may be inevitable, but he has no idea.

She has the upper hand. They have a prenup that she had him sign before they were married. The house is in her name. He's the working parent. He will be required to pay spousal support and child support.

I tend to see things in black and white. I don't understand not wanting to resolve a known issue. I can't understand taking such pains to hide it. That seems far more exhausting to me than actually addressing the issue.

I also can forgo black and white for a shade of gray, or light blue. And it is during those shady times when we learn the most about ourselves. How will we react when dealt with a low blow? What will we say when the hand we were dealt is not what we were expecting? Life is a series of chapters. Each one must be written before the next can begin. We control this for ourselves. We are accountable for our actions. Right?

This weekend they are going to a local resort to celebrate their 7 year anniversary. Celebrate seems like the wrong word. But they are planning massages, pool, dinner. I don't know what else. I actually get angry thinking about it. I wonder if she'll show him the brochure for family counseling that she picked up today at the OB-GYN office. I wonder if she'll insist on getting help for him. For them. For their family. I really doubt it. I have a feeling we're in for a long haul on this one.

Tonight he was overheard saying, "Oh wow, we've been married almost 7 years. If I make it, do I get a prize?"

He said this in a very sarcastic tone. He said this in front of his wife, his two children, and in front of friends. He continued to sarcastically remind everyone that in five days he will have been married for 7 years. She was not laughing. No one was laughing.

1 comment:

Amy said...

Well written. Jerk. She'll hopefully come out of it on the other side sooner rather than later.