My Brain Is Full

I don't know if I'm really capable of sitting in an office Monday through Friday all frickin' day and into the evening. By Thursday I am beat and ready to call it a week. I am completely jealous of our congress who is taking the month of August off. The government types in Iraq are taking August off too. I'm also jealous of school children (summer off) and anyone from Western Europe. Those fuckers only work a few hours a day and then get something like 25 weeks of vacation. They are also paid better. And get better benefits. Oh well. Things could be worse, right?

One of my employees called in sick yesterday and he calls in sick a lot. I asked him today what the hell is going on and he acted all innocent-like. "What do you mean? I have only missed a couple days..."

Yes, but you've only worked here a month.

Yes, he explains, but this is very serious. You see, it's a South African strain of a very serious bug. And the doctor was so alarmed that a call was placed to the CDC.

Really, I say, the CDC, huh? So you are telling me that in one doctor visit you found out you have a serious South African bug and that it's so rare and scary that the doctor decided to call the Centers for Disease Control. Is that what you are telling me? If so, why are you here now? And if your doctor is so worried why didn't he place a call to your employer, or give you a doctor's note stating how sick you are?

He did not tell me I couldn't come to work.

Ok, he mentioned nothing about whether you are contageous or that you should stay away from work, or from people for that matter. Yet your doctor placed a call to the CDC about this South African flu?

It's not the flu. It's worse than that.

Then get the fuck out of my office. I am a pregnant woman for christ's sakes you fucking moron. Leave now, and call your doctor, and then tell your doctor to call me.

Ok, I'm sorry.

Fucking idiot.

Every word is nonsense but I understand it

This cartoon made me breath a sigh of relief.

Someone else has felt this way.

I am learning.

To be really hard on people who deserve it

and delegate more.

And more.

And hire more people. Better people.

And tell myself I know what I'm doing.

And that I deserve this.

This success.

I think.

Is this real or am I dreaming?

Boys on my left side, Boys on my right side....

Meet Baby Wine Shriner. My doctor told me the baby is "perfect" and I believe her!

We have "95%" ruled out Down's Syndrome, cleft pallet, and any problems with the brain, abdomen, spinal cord, and heart. All this is based on viewing the baby via ultrasound and taking measurements of various parts to ensure they are growing adequately. The baby currently weighs about 1 ounce.

During the ultrasound the baby was moving around a lot so we were able to see everything, and the doctor was excited to get such good visibility. As she said, "There are two arms and legs and we see lots of fingers and toes, but that's the least of your worries."

I didn't ask her what I should be most worried about. Probably because she and I were very fixated on the baby's genitals. About 30 seconds into the process the doctor shrieked, "Do you see what I see?". At this point we got kind of giggly and the mood quickly changed from medical to, well, just a couple of girls cracking jokes.

You see, the baby is more than likely a boy. While the doctor warned "don't paint the walls blue yet", she also seemed pretty confident that a boy is on the way. We were cracking up as she said things like "he is hanging pretty low" and "you can see that thing from all angles". We were giggling like a couple of school girls.

And she started taking pictures of "that thing" too. Here you can see our 1 ounce baby in all his glory (click the picture to enlarge).

So there you have it! We are once again struggling for a boy name.... but I'm excited for another boy. Girls are just a pain in the ass as far as I'm concerned.

Any ideas? Names anyone? Submit a name and if we choose it, I'll pay you $100. Yep, that's it. Now get to it!