Celebrate Celebrate Dance to the Music

Some of my best friends are descending on Vieques Island, Puerto Rico this weekend. The Real Simple Athletes are celebrating 10 years of wedded bliss and are renewing their vows on their anniversary, July 5. Since I got myself knocked up I had to bail on this trip. I feel terrible about missing this. Those crazy kids will have an awesome time and I'm so proud of them for reaching this important milestone in their lives and for sharing it with so many people they love.

They are each such unique individuals but together the Real Simple Athletes are a terrific team. Over the last 10+ years I have watched them both grow and together they have developed a relationship that many people in this world can only wish and hope for.

Here's Mrs. Real Simple.

And Mr. Athlete. This pic is a little dated but I imagine he'll be sporting this very same look on the beaches of Puerto Rico.

And here are a few of the happy couple together

Happiest of happy days and have a wonderful anniversary.

I love you. Have fun. Cheers!

Who Are You?

So there is some faction of anonymous types who read this blog but don't comment, and instead send me anonymous emails challenging my thoughts. I appreciate it, I really do. I actually want to be challenged and wish more people would challenge me in a public forum. I learn best through interaction and debate, and I learn best by understanding where others are coming from in their thought process. I could go off on a tangent about why some people are afraid to discuss and challenge but I'll save that for another time.

So, about my last post. Ok I get the prejudiced thing. I am probably prejudiced in some way but I never considered myself to be so. Not in the sense that I think people mean when they accuse someone of being prejudiced.

An emailer pointed out that I'm not really prejudiced toward a certain type of person, rather I am prejudiced toward inter-racial relationships.

Now this has some validity to me and makes me really think (thank you Anonymous emailer).

There's a girl I work with who is white and she only dates ("fucks") black guys. I have always been a little leary of her motives around this, if there are any. But I never considered that my thoughts were prejudiced in nature.

Someone else wanted to know why I "missed the boat" on my Jessie Davis commentary by failing to point out the double standard for black men because Mr. Cutts was charged with double murder (Jessie and baby). Someone (who are you people?!) wants me to discuss the merits of charging Cutts for the murder of an unborn baby when as a society we never charge anyone with murder who gets an abortion. Who gets to decide when a baby is a baby and therefore, when a viable life was taken?

Heavy stuff, you anonymous people. Again I ask, who are you!?

No matter, I will not be writing a commentary on whether we should arrest women for murder if they have chosen to get an abortion. I can see both sides of that debate, although I don't see how black men fall into this particular debate. I ask you anonymous Peeping Toms whether you know when a baby can live on its own outside the mother's body, and also if you are aware of the laws regarding at what point during a pregnancy a woman can legally obtain an abortion?

Jessie was 9 months pregnant carrying a full-term baby that could have lived on its own, and I fully support the murder charge for Cutts killing this child (his child). I will discuss this in an open forum with anyone willing to do so. If you wish to remain anonymous I am not sure what you are trying to accomplish, but I do appreciate your input. Don't be shy, though. We're all friends here.

Strange but True

I am a sucker for drama, especially true crime drama. I'm fascinated to the point of fixation. Ever since I can remember reading books, I have always gravitated to the true crime section. The OJ Simpson trial was sadly a highlight in my life. It was almost a luxury to be a Journalism student during the most sensational true crime trial ever. I remember a class called Journalists and True Crime: A Discussion. Well, our discussion took place at a bar with TVs so we could all keep watching the OJ trial. I shared an obsession with these people, and I loved every minute.

Jessie Davis is the most recent tragedy that keeps me glued to The Nancy Grace Show. I figured Jessie's boyfriend, Bobby Cutts, was involved from the beginning, and I was suspicious of his every word and action. I actually thought his wife was somehow involved, and that is turning out to be a wrong assumption. But he, yes, he was definitely involved.

Nancy Grace and others are naturally comparing this to the Laci Peterson case. Makes sense because both Jessie and Laci were 9 months pregnant when they were murdered.

But here's the thing: I never pegged Laci's death on Scott Peterson and I wasn't at all suspicious of his actions and words like I was with this Cutts guy. Peterson offed his wife, for sure, but I wasn't really sure until well into the trial.

But OJ? He was guilty as hell from the get-go. Cutts? Guilty!

I was on the fence with Scott Peterson and even The Menendez Brothers.

Does this mean that I am prejudiced?

Look at me look at me look at me I'm a winner

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Before Kids I Slept

According to the doctor's measurement of the baby I am about 9 weeks along. But I am pretty sure I'm further along, more like 10-12 weeks. It may not seem like a difference but it sure as shit is.

That measurement they take is a weird thing. If you haven't had kids, here's what they do at the first doctor visit. They shove something up where the sun doesn't shine and then suddenly right there on the screen is a picture of a baby, which looks nothing like a baby and more like a little piece of dust. Then the doctor uses a mouse and clicks around, presses some buttons, and tries to measure the length of that piece of dust, oops, I mean, baby. It's tinier than half your pinky finger. The only way I believed it was real is because I saw and heard a heart beat. Oh yea, and I feel like I've been hungover for two+ months.

So I think the measurement can be off. When I was pregnant the first time the due date changed every time I went to the doctor and had the baby measured. However, I was so sure of the due date (I was right on with March 25) because I knew exactly when the first day of my last period was, and I knew exactly when conception occurred. It was very scientific.

This time around, I couldn't tell you when my last period was, let alone the first day of the last period. And I also don't know when conception occurred. But I do remember feeling horrific, unable to eat, and was overly tired, between my trip to Boston and my trip to Jackson, MS. The long and short of it is I think I got pregnant before I went to Boston, and if so, then the doctor is wrong about the due date.

The baby will be here sometime in January, but the exact date is up in the air as far as I'm concerned. Between now and then much will happen and I'm always fascinated with what is actually going on in there from week to week. It's amazing, really. Here is my Week 10 development taken from two different sources.

Week 10
Your astonishingly tiny baby has graduated from embryo to full blown fetus! And so it should be, as they've been hard at work growing as fast as possible—almost doubling in size in the past three weeks! Amazingly, you’re in for a repeat size doubling performance within the next three weeks! Your tiny champion still weighs less than a quarter of an ounce but has already completed the most critical stage of their development. Using Doppler technology, your doctor or gynecologist can let you hear their tiny rapid fetal heartbeats this week (145-165 beats per minute!). Chances for miscarriage are greatly reduced when the heartbeat can be detected, so take a sigh of relief if you’ve been needing one—it hasn’t been an easy ten weeks! What’s more, they’re getting ready to make their first baby poop! Your little one’s major organ systems are developing, including a functioning digestive tract capable of moving food all the way through their bowels. The final shiny gold star on their fetal behavior chart for the week: your little scrapper has already developed defense mechanisms to protect them on reflex!

Also, your baby will become much more active than before, but unfortunately, his movements are still too small for you to notice. He will be moving his arms and legs, which can be seen on an ultrasound. Your baby's joints are fully formed, as are his tiny hands, feet, fingers and toes. At this age, he would be able to grab an object, if it were placed in his hand, as he grows more and more sensitive to touch. Your baby's eyes are open most of the time but the eyelids are beginning to fuse – they will stay that way until you reach approximately 25 to 27 weeks. The external genitalia are beginning to be able to show your baby’s gender and both the external ears and upper lip are completely formed now. Your baby’s biggest accomplishment this week is the disappearance of the tail! Also, your baby is breathing. This breathing activity is noticeable as he “breathes” amniotic fluid.

It's no wonder I'm so tired - lots going on in there. Very exciting, very odd, strange, and weird, and funky, and it kind of makes my skin crawl.

I'm off to eat some more. I am gaining 1-2 pounds per week. Ahh, the joys of motherhood. The sacrifices are endless. And I cannot forget the joys of Fatherhood. If I were a single mother right now I would flip out. Thank you, thank you Mr. Grass for hanging in there and holding it together for us. Happy Father's Day. You are a good dad and a great husband!

Come on now, Who do you, Who do you, Who do you, Who do you think you are?

Boy, y'all are demanding. Please, point me in the direction of all your original content so I can see what you have to say. Hey, I'll even link to you and we can be friends and stuff. Yea.

Mmmm, Hmmm.

Well, after I kicked Steve out I went from having three people who report to me, to 35 people who report to me. Things have been..... hmmm.... how you say... ummm.... yes, overwhelming.

But that's ok, because when I'm over-the-top busy I can't think about how crap-ass I (still!) feel. Sucks cockola. Or not, as Mr. Grass would be the first to inform you of.

So how do you motivate a group of unmotivated people? These are people who maybe graduated from high school. Well, don't get me wrong. There are some good ones with lots of good experience and I'm leaning on them hard core to step up to the plate and help me.

But most of these people make anywhere from $12-$14/hour and their job is thankless. They have to take all the angry calls, listen to the complaints and problems and suck it up and put on a happy face. I have to constantly tell them to have a positive attitude and be a positive role model at work. It's tiring saying the same thing over and over. Especially when to me, it's a little bit of common sense. I hate to sound like a jackass, I really do. But I cannot relate to most of them. I don't understand why someone keeps a job when all they do when they are at work is bitch and complain and find ways to make other people just as unhappy.

Here's a typical exchange:

ME: Dude, what is up with your bad attitude? Why bother coming here if you are just going to spread your negative energy everywhere?

THEM: Negativiny? I don't know what that means but I'm the oldest of five and I had to take my brother to court today and that's why I was late and my uncle is dying and I'm the only one in my whole family who knows what to do and I just found out I'm pregnant and my babydaddy hit me last night and took the car so that's also why I was late because I had to go borrow a car from my old boyfriend.

ME: oohh-kaaay. Well listen, your job requires that you be here on time so we can be sure to have the coverage needed to take care of our clients and our customers. How can I tell a client that their service levels are not being met because one of my employees can't be here on time? And you have to leave the negative attitude at the door.

THEM: Tell your client my life is fucked up and I had to take my brother to court so he wouldn't go to jail. If your client can't understand that then there is no justice in this world.

See what I mean? Jesus H. on a Pop-Fucking-Sicle Stick!

So I have my work cut out for me. Steve obviously let these people walk all over him. I can't believe what a mess it is every time I fire someone. Well, I can, but I'm always amazed how bad it really was.

On top of all that fa-shizzle, the Little One has been sick, again. And two nights ago I was up with him from 11:30 PM until 5:00 AM. No sleep, and let me tell you, being pregnant, not eating, and not sleeping is not a good idea. Even worse is having to come to work after no sleep, and deal with Them. OOOOOOPH! Yesterday I felt like I was floating. It's a wonder I didn't haul off and wig out on Them. OHH, I am so glad I kept my shit together. And I slept like a sweet baby last night.

In my spare time (HA HA HA HA HA HA), I have been researching which possible Presidential candidate I might be willing to back. Hell no, we won't go with Hillary. And I'm REALLY concerned about her numbers lately. She is becoming more popular, and I'm here to tell you, if she is the Democratic candidate, we WILL end up with another Republican in the White House. And no, I don't think Giuliani is going to get the nomination so it will not be a Hillary/Rudy race. Don't question, accept.

I crack myself up.

I took a little testies to determine which candidate might most match my ideals. Turns out none of them do, but here's the order in which they rank, according to what I want (and yes, legalizing the green is on my list of important political leanings, and yes, it's one of the questions on the test).

If you take the test let me know how your list shapes up. I am a little disappointed Hillary ended up so high on my list, right above Al Gore, who has to be the most bloated person on the planet. Have you seen him lately? Here's a link to his bloatedness, but beware, it's very scary.

So, given my current "ideal candidate list", I might have to re-evalute my ideals. Yes, I might have to go and do just that.

Who is your ideal candidate?

STEVE IS GONE!!!

Hey, I don't fuck around, fuckers.

Am I right side up or upside down, and is this real, or am I dreaming?

I basically just sat on the couch all weekend. I had no energy. It felt like I was coming off a long week or month of nonstop partying and my body finally just gave out. I could barely eat, had dry heeves, upset stomach, headache, body aches, and total exhaustion to the point of barely being able walk across the house to the bathroom. It's debilitating. After awhile my mind turns to mush and it all kind of feels like a dream, but it's not.

I have heard this will go away soon. I have also heard about women who suffered through this for the entire pregnancy. Can you imagine? Jesus H.

My mother just reminded me that I gained "a lot of weight" the first time, and that I might want to lay off the food this time.

Uhhh, thanks mom. That's exactly what I needed to hear.

In other news - I've been promoted to Vice President of Client Services. This has many implications, not the least of which is that I will probably have to work more. Joy.

There's this dude who works for me. We'll call him Steve, but that's not his real name. He heads up a department that I am directly responsible for. He is about 10-12 years older than me, and he has worked with us (directly for me) for about 6-8 months. His job and mine are super important because we are "customer facing" and, since our client's success depends upon getting and keeping customers, those clients rely on Steve and I to help them keep their customers.

Well, Steve is a total fuck up. He thinks his job is to point out what everyone else is doing wrong. And don't you know - because everyone else is doing wrong, then he can't possibly be expected to do HIS job well.

I've resorted to meeting with him weekly and documenting every god damned thing we say to each other. The other day I said, "Steve, I just don't think you are running a very tight ship over here."

His reply was, "I agree."

This guy is killing me. I spend 35%-45% of every day dealing with a parade of people in my office complaining about Steve. How long till Steve is history? Good question, he is really bringing me down and he is losing credibility by the second. Which means so am I. Which means I must act!

Where did all the good people go? Does anyone want to move to Paradise and work for me?

Besides the Steve situation, I'm excited about work. We just signed another huge, big name client. Things are shaping up. It's going to be a very busy summer, but that is good and will help the time go faster until the birth of the new baby. Fuck. That's a little bit scary.

And that's the latest - work and pregnancy. Wish me luck.