Thursday, July 19, 2007

My Brain Is Full

I don't know if I'm really capable of sitting in an office Monday through Friday all frickin' day and into the evening. By Thursday I am beat and ready to call it a week. I am completely jealous of our congress who is taking the month of August off. The government types in Iraq are taking August off too. I'm also jealous of school children (summer off) and anyone from Western Europe. Those fuckers only work a few hours a day and then get something like 25 weeks of vacation. They are also paid better. And get better benefits. Oh well. Things could be worse, right?

One of my employees called in sick yesterday and he calls in sick a lot. I asked him today what the hell is going on and he acted all innocent-like. "What do you mean? I have only missed a couple days..."

Yes, but you've only worked here a month.

Yes, he explains, but this is very serious. You see, it's a South African strain of a very serious bug. And the doctor was so alarmed that a call was placed to the CDC.

Really, I say, the CDC, huh? So you are telling me that in one doctor visit you found out you have a serious South African bug and that it's so rare and scary that the doctor decided to call the Centers for Disease Control. Is that what you are telling me? If so, why are you here now? And if your doctor is so worried why didn't he place a call to your employer, or give you a doctor's note stating how sick you are?

He did not tell me I couldn't come to work.

Ok, he mentioned nothing about whether you are contageous or that you should stay away from work, or from people for that matter. Yet your doctor placed a call to the CDC about this South African flu?

It's not the flu. It's worse than that.

Then get the fuck out of my office. I am a pregnant woman for christ's sakes you fucking moron. Leave now, and call your doctor, and then tell your doctor to call me.

Ok, I'm sorry.

Fucking idiot.


Amy said...

He sounds crazy.

Head Whiner said...

so he came in today. i ask if he talked to his doctor. he states that he received an email from his doctor describing his illness, and wouldn't you know it, he tried forwarding me that email three times and it "didn't go through". Hmmm, so what does it say? Something about an illness similar to encephalitis... whatever that is. Is it contageous? Only if he coughs and sneezes on someone. His doctor thinks he got it from a Hispanic guy who sneezed on him. insanity.

Amy said...

Now he just sounds rather unintelligent

Head Whiner said...

well my I.T. guy pushed his email through (which got caught in our spam filter). it was his "doctor's note" which was really a bunch of research he pulled from the internet. he really is an idiot. and that is my ultimate problem, goal, challenge = finding quality intelligent, promising, driven people who are ok making $12-$14/hour. you win some you lose some in that game.

meg said...

how old is this dude?

Anonymous said...

this made me laugh hysterically - even though I know its only funny cause its so fucking ridiculous that someone can be so fucking stupid!

Head Whiner said...

the dude is in his 30s

meg said...

me: Joe Shmoe, why are you late today?

JS: Uh, I'm late?

me: yea, 1.5 hours late. You didn't call. what's going on?

JS: nothing, man, like I said, I didn't know I was late.

me: it's your responsibility to make a copy of your schedule and be to your scheduled shift on time and ready to work.

JS: yea, man, like I said, no idea I was late.

me: if you are late again, I am writing you up.

JS: for what?

meg: being late!

JS: but what if I don't know again?

UGH!!!!!!!!!! And I pay my hourly folks less that you do. I can only shake my head and drink vodka tonics to deal.

Amy said...

try to keep in mind when we were one of these low levels, man....

Head Whiner said...

when we were at these levels we had more common sense, which is why we are no longer at those levels, sista. i've learned that unfortunately you can't teach common sense, and some people just don't care about much.