When you feel so tired but you can't sleep, Stuck in reverse

I feel really pregnant now. I have to wear pregnancy pants and I am beyond tired. I wake up every morning at 3:00 AM for some unknown reason, and it's usually a struggle to get back to sleep. I have to eat a bowl of cereal to stop the loudest hunger grumbles I have ever heard. If I can't get back to sleep I am pretty much screwed for the rest of the day, working through multi-million dollar deals and trying to be patient with corporate morons.

Yesterday I was up from 3:00 AM on, with about a half hour cat nap around 5:30 AM. I luckily did not have to go to the office and was working from home (READ: watching the Little One while checking email every 5 minutes). By 8:00 PM I was sleeping while awake. It really is possible. I was sleep walking while awake.

My energy level is zil because I can't eat. When I finally feel famished I can hardly get anything down. I am always nauseous. I have not actually thrown up, except for once, and that was because I opened the refrigerator and the most grotesque smell wafted in my face. I ran to the bathroom. This was at 3:30 AM. Right after that episode I devoured a large bowl of peanut butter Cap'n Crunch. The only other time in my life when I can remember eating cereal in the middle of the night was when I was pregnant with the Little One.

My cravings include Orangina, orange soda, orange juice, strawberry orange juice, ice cream, chocolate cake, pizza (piping hot, cheese only), french fries, candy, and buffalo chicken sandwiches. Yea, not much on that list is considered healthy. Did I mention McDonald's? Good thing I am taking 6 horse pills per day. Some call them prenatal vitamins. I call them foul.

I am not a member of the Mommy Police Brigade, so I am allowed to drink a little red wine every now and then. Yesterday was the first day when the smell and taste of wine was exceptionally unappealing. And it was about a $300 bottle of Jarvis Cabernet. (Big.Sigh.)

All of this is vastly different from my first pregnancy. I remember having no problem with food - eating anything I could get my hands on. I slept better, but I did not have a two year old then. I never felt nauseous then. I thought I did, but that was anxiety. This is nausea.

So does this mean a girl is on the way? Who knows. If I were a betting person I'd bet on a boy, based on the history in Mr Grass' family. A girl would be fun. We have a list of girl names. Not one name in the boy column.

We bought the Little One a baby and stroller so he can start to practice. We have friends who are already planning a shower. We have discussed the new bedroom for the new baby. And we know we need to get the office ready for primetime so we can both work in there for a few months.

It's getting more and more real. I just want the empty stomach feeling to end. Oh yea, and my boobs hurt.

Happy Memorial Day!